


Yuri and Raven Write a Fanfic

by CrazyBlues



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Out of Character, Shipping, Shippy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 08:19:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1421227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyBlues/pseuds/CrazyBlues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuri and Raven, after learning about the magical world of fan fiction, decide to write their own! This is that fan fic. Yuri and Raven take turns writing chapters, starting with Yuri. WARNING: Pretty much everyone is at least a little bit out of character. Especially Yuri.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chatpet 1: tEh encontre

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story originally written as a joke between me and my brothers. My friend requested that it go online. If you think this is stupid, you are correct. Also, the inclusion of any gay jokes is for the purpose of making the writers seem juvenile and petty and nothing else. I apologize if any gay jokes that are made seem rude or distasteful.

Chatpet 1: tEh encontre

 

Catpain Karol waz feeling board. HE had noone to takl too an it waz lat at nait. He desidid to go to hte rom of Rita the GREAT.

"Rita?"

A voise cam queitly from the rom and respondid:

"Whata you want, dumbutz?"

Catpain Karol mad his moev.

"Wanna make out wiht our mouths?"

Rita dindt' even kno wat to tihnk. She dreamd tbhis questin for evr. She said wiht GLEE,

"I totally do!"

Then they did. 

 

End of chapter 1.


	2. Learn to Spell, Yuri!

By the next morning, Karol and Rita had forgotten about the incident. After all, it had only happened because Flynn had gotten them drunk the night before. As Karol's head pounded, he made a promise to himself never to trust Flynn again.

On what everyone would agree is a totally unrelated note, Karol was longing for something; He longed for the sweet embrace of a beautiful woman (which is something all of us long for, I think). He had his sights set on one woman in particular: Genius mage, Rita Mordio.

He decided to try something bold (because he had never tried anything bold before, especially not recently). He approached Rita after breakfast that morning and struck up a conversation.

"Hey, Baby," he said, "Check out my STRENGTH!"

He then lifted a park bench WAY OVER HIS HEAD... With ONE HAND!

Little Miss Rita was not impressed with his strength, however. She was distracted by something else, you see; In her eyes, he was drop-dead gorgeous.

Rita blew the bench up with magic, or something, and looked him in the eyes.

"You are SO ADORABLE!" She yelled.

He then smiled, pushed back the sunglasses he was suddenly wearing, and took her off her feet, carrying her off toward the sunset that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

 

End of Chapter 2.


	3. Up yours, Raven!

Chatpet 3: Up yours, Raven!

 

Ten it waz actially a dream! :O

REALLY, Catpain Karol waks up and is all like, "WTF, mate?" exept not really, cause he's not whatever natinality sez that. Once he waks, he desides to go the kichin and get some seriel to eat.

Judy says, "Whats the wrong? You don't look happy... ......."  
Catpain Karol replys with a anoyed voice, "I had a stupid dream. It waz soooo stupid, ti seemd writtin by Raven."  
"Tahts too bad," she sed. Then she wakled ovr and sed she waz int'o him.  
sHes then all like, "Wanna go to the bak roon and PARTY, if you knop what i meen? ;)"  
Catpain Karol dint kno what she meent.  
He sed "Wat? I dont kno!"  
She sed "I shoe you!"  
THEN she taked him to behind the blastia in Heliord for a SWIM (If youkno wat i MEEN!)  
.. .................................................  
Then she got bak to the place every one lese waqs at in, and the Catpain followed her theyr. Hes waz all liek "Taht waz liek WOAH!"  
Estelle then ask "WAT waz kliek WOAH?'  
Catpain was then like "NUTHIN!!! GOA way, estELLE! >:O"  
THEN Raven waz lieck 'I IZ DUMM!""

Edn of Chapter 3.


	4. Yuri's Gay

As it would turn out, the previous events were also a dream; The difference was that it was Yuri doing the dreaming this time. For some reason, Yuri felt a certain sadness about this dream. He walked out of the inn to grab a bite to eat. He was craving cereal.

"Yuri, what's wrong?" Karol asked with a puzzled look.

"Nothin' much... I just had a bit of a nightmare is all," Yuri said.

He wasn't sure why he had said that to Karol, though; he never told anyone about his problems.

"Well, cheer up!" the boy said, with a beaming smile on his face.

Yuri somehow felt different about the boy today. It was as though seeing Karol's smile melted away all of his problems in an instant. Yuri had never felt that way about anyone before, except perhaps Flynn, but that was long past.

"Yuri!" 

"You alright, boy?" Asked Raven the great.

Yuri snapped out of his daze.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Yuri had a bad dream is all!" Karol shouted innocently.

Yuri was embarassed, but somehow didn't mind. Nothing Karol did could upset him for some reason.

"Oh, a dream?" Rita asked, her voice filled with intrigue.

"Was it a sexy dream about sex and more sex?" Judith asked with a sexy voice.

"Y-No..." Yuri answered.

"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSTED!" Estelle shrieked with glee.

"Was it about Flynn again?" Karol asked, annoyed.

Yuri was somehow hurt by that accusation, regardless of how plausible and well-grounded it was. He didn't like hearing those words from his Captain, and Yuri began to realize why. He became scared and confused. Me? Love Karol!? He's like 12 or something!

"Just mind your own business!" Yuri yelled.

...

After breakfast, Yuri called out Karol to speak to him in private. Karol seemed rather intrigued, but oblivious to Yuri's intentions. After Yuri fidgeted around for 5 minutes like a little school girl, Karol became impatient.

"Yuri, if you have something to say, just say it!" Karol shouted.

Yuri became upset, but he knew that he had to move forward. He then decided to make his move.

"Karol, for reasons I'm not even sure of, I think... I-I think I... I... I love you..."

Karol stood speechless. He knew he was a sexy beast, but he didn't know he was THAT attractive! Karol thought about the situation for a while, trying to come to a conclusion about what to do.

"Yuri..." Karol began.

Yuri became hopeful. It seemed Karol was more receptive than he thought he would be. Yuri started to think about all the fun they would have together, all the wonderful things they would do, all the beautiful years that awaited. But then he was interrupted.

"Yuri... You are SO FREAKING GAY!" Karol yelled.

"I'm gonna tell Flynn!" He laughed as he ran away, leaving Yuri by himself in the middle of the park.

Yuri then quietly went back to the inn.

"What's got you lookin' so down, buddy?" Raven the sexy beast asked, deeply concerned for his friend, like the awesome person he is.

"It's nothing," Yuri said with a sigh.

 

And nothing it would forever be.

 

LOLYURI'SGAYYURI'SGAYYURI'SGAYYURI'SGAYYURI'SGAY

 

End of Chapter 4.


	5. Making up

Chapter 5: Making up

 

-CLICK CLICK-

Yuri opened up the story he and Raven had been working on together on the computer. The newest chapter, written by Raven, had an insult directed at him as the title. The two men had been going back and forth since the second chapter. Yuri wasn't sure why this had started, or what he wanted to do about it. 

He eventually decided that he'd have to figure it out from the beginning. He read through the chapters written by Raven seeing if he could gather any insight.

Chapter 2: Learn to Spell, Yuri!

This chapter seemed to be about Karol and Rita, as was the first one, but it was the start of the insult war. Raven had been making a rather rude note about Yuri's spelling abilities, which Yuri admitted to himself were actually quite poor. He noticed some phrases in all caps, but couldn't make any sense of it all. Deciding that it didn't amount to any hidden messages, he moved on to Raven's next chapter.

Chapter 4: Yuri's Gay!

This chapter was about Yuri being in love with Karol, the thought of which repulsed Yuri. However, as he sat reading the chapter, he saw past the obvious plot, and into a relm of homoerotic double-meanings. Maybe that was an exaggeration, but it was still pretty weird. 

Raven first dispelled the previous chapter as meaningless, which was normal in this story, but things were different from that point; the chapter had a much more serious air to it than in the other chapters. 

Basically, as the story progressed, Yuri was seen as being attracted to Karol, along with having been attracted to Flynn in the past, thus labeling him as extremely gay. Right after Yuri is revealed as gay, Raven is introduced as "Raven the great," followed by more hinting at Yuri's gay past. 

It became rather obvious over time that Karol wasn't the real love interest in this story; one minute, "Nothing Karol did could upset him for some reason," and the next minute, Yuri was screaming at him "Just mind your own business!" 

The story seemed to end with rejection, but there was something about the end that struck Yuri as being a little odd: Raven comforted him after Karol's rejection (Raven also having been described as a "sexy beast" during this scene) then, right after, Yuri concludes that him and Karol would never be together. 

\---

Yuri, shocked at his findings, decided to question Raven head-on about it. He approached Raven in private, while the others were asleep.

"Hey, Raven!" Yuri began.

"What is it, boy?" Raven responded.

"I would like to ask you a few questions about that last chapter, such as what your intentions were." Yuri said with a serious look.

"I-I-I dunno what yer talkin' about, son." Raven said as his ears began to wiggle ever so slightly.

Yuri explained his findings in great detail.

"Am I right, Raven!?" Yuri asked, more serious than he's ever been.

"W-well..." Raven began, but he was suddenly cut off.

"P-p-please let it be true..." Yuri said, half-whispering, as he began to tremble.

"A-a-aah..." Raven was speechless.

"I-I-I have always loved you..." Yuri said in a whisper, crying as he said it.

Raven suddenly wrapped his arms around Yuri, taking him in a warm embrace.

"I love you, too..." Raven whispered, as he sofly kissed Yuri's forehead. 

The moment was all too perfect, when suddenly Judith walked out of her room and saw the two men looking incredibly gay. 

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK~!" They both shreiked.

Then Judith said, with an angry-yet-sinister look in her eyes,

"That's what you guys get for writing stories about me and Karol!!!"

 

End of Chapter 5


	6. O hno shje di'int!

Chatpet 6: O hno shje di'int!

 

Judy waikd up in the mroning. She burished her heir and did hur maekup. She hade jusst had a draem about Raven and Yuri. Cuz she like gey stuf. It waz teh seksy, she thaut. Then she waz int'o Rita. Cuz she like gey stuf.

Az she wakled out of her roon, wshe thaut about Rita an howw seksi she waz. TEN Rita showd up. Rita waz dresst in a tiny dress maed of seriel. She den poored milk on her boobiez, cuz its hawt. Judy sed it waz hawt. TEHN, Rita sed:

"I liek to yuo to come eet seriel offf my boobz. ;)"

JUDY was SPEECHLIS. She alwaiz want to eet seriel offf Rita's boobz. She dreamed this alwayz (except not lasst nait). 

"I woud LOVE to eet seriel off you boobz! =D" Judy seid, wiht JOY.

She ten went ovr an aet seriel offf her boobz. And evryware else. BUt Rita woar a bikini ujnderneath. Judy cryed big crys. She wantid to seee hre boobz. :,(

ALLOV a sudden, Catpain Karol whaz htere. He waz all liek "Wat is tihs I dunt eben kno!" TEHN he taked a pictur. Then sold it on eBay. Then Raven bout it. He gav iht tu Duke. Duke kisses it goodnite always.

 

Edn of Chapter 6.


	7. Not cool, Judith!

Karol woke up. He thought about how hot most of that dream was, but wondered why noone could seem to speak correctly. It was like they were all written by Yuri, or something. He went down stairs to grab some cereal when, suddenly, he heard a scream. He quickly ran to the source of the noise to find Zagi where everyone else was. 

"Run, Captain Karol!" Yuri shouted.

"I'm not leaving you guys behind!" Karol responded.

Zagi stopped. He turned towards Karol, staring blankly.

"Captain?" Zagi stared in awe. 

He wondered what this boy could have done to earn Yuri's respect. Was it because he had some sort of hidden strength? Was it because he wasn't tall and lanky, like Judith? Was it because he was small and adorable, also unlike Judith? Zagi inched closer and closer to Karol. Everyone else cringed, fearing what he might do to Karol.

"LOOK OUT!" Flynn yelled. He ran at Zagi, but tripped over Repede. He hit the ground head-first, falling unconscious.

Zagi ignored Flynn as he moved in closer. Then, once he was within inches of Karol, he grabbed him and started making out with him. Everyone else screamed. He pulled away from the kiss to see Karol's reaction. Karol looked terrified, but he then pulled Zagi back into it. Everyone screamed louder. Then, once they ended the kiss, they began to chat.

"Your little boy chest is SO much better than Judith's big floppy boobs that are just in the way!" Zagi said.

"I know, right?" Karol replied.

Judith frowned in the background, but no one cared. Especially not Raven the Magnificent.

"Please, teach me your secret to being so well respected, my love." Zagi continued, begging.

"Only if you teach me how to not die no matter how much it seems like I should. Also, teach me to kill. It would be epic." Karol said.

"Deal." Zagi replied.

Then the two jumped onto a horse's back and rode off into the horizon, talking about how Judith should probably shower more. They lived happily ever after.

 

End of Chapter 7.


	8. Catpain goas to hte market

Chatpet 8: Catpain goas to hte market

 

Catpain Karol wuz not hapy whit tha stoary Raven just told. Raven had had a dum draem that waz gey an than told it to hte Catpain. Karol went to go eet seriel. THEN, he sawd taht it waz GOAN! D:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Catpain yelld wiht TERROR.

"WAHT?" Flynn sed.

"Theres no MOER SERIEL!" Karol yelld.

"OH GOPD, NO!" eStelle scremed!

"GOA TO THE market NAO!" Judy sed.

So than Catpain wented to eth market. He lookd for 36.3 minits, an didnt' fined it! :(

"WAI cant I fined SERIEL?" Catpain Karol yelld loud.

He den startid screemong adn noking stufff doun from upon the shlevs. THEN suddinly, some pearson waz their.

"I haev seriel, if you WANT." A voise cam queitly from behind.

"I do WANT iht." Catpain respondid.

He turnd aruond and sawD uke. Duke waz carying a box of ice creem sanwiches, and a box off seriel.

"I want THAT SERIEL, dUKE!" Catpain Karol sed calmly.

"Ohnly if you be mai bride FOREVER. :D" Duke sed whit GLEE.

Catpain touht abupt it. On 1 hadn, he thought Duke waz dum. On eth othre hadn, he REELY want SERIEL. Oh, and Duke waz kinda hawt, he thinkd. He finaly sed:

"I wihl. I WILL be yoru BRIDE."

Ten they gotted married an cam hoem wiht seriel AND ice CREEM sanwiches. They then livd happy evr after, wiht 7 kids an a new houes. Alos, tey had Raven as there gey BUTTler.

 

Edn of Chapter 8.


	9. What the heck, Yuri?

Everyone was trying to apprehend Flynn. He was rather drunk and spouting nonsense. It seemed to be a story about Karol and Duke, but his speech was so slurred, he sounded like one of Yuri's fanfics. Alas, Judith hit him on the head, rendering him unconscious, and so everyone was free to continue eating their morning cereal. 

Later that day, Rita decided to go out for a walk. She was growing tired of everyone else's shenanigans and needed a break. Unfortunately, she was followed by Flynn. He wouldn't leave her alone. He just kept babbling about how dumb Yuri is, or how lame Karol is, or anything else that happened to cross his mind. Also, he wouldn't stop accusing Yuri of being a rapist, or something.

"Will you stop?" Rita shouted. She was growing tired of his idiocy.

"But all I'm saying is that you should really be careful around Yuri, okay?" Flynn whined.

Before Rita could say anything else, Alexei jumped out of the bushes and beat Flynn with a rock.

"Thank God that's over!" Rita declared.

"Not a problem, my lady!" Alexei responded. "How about we go grab lunch?"

Rita didn't know how she felt about having lunch with one of their enemies, but he DID just save her from Flynn. He must not be THAT bad, she thought.

"Sure, why not." She said. "Just don't try anything funny, alright?"

"Now why would I do that?" He spoke in a very refined manner.

"We're enemies, remember?" She questioned.

"Yuri's my enemy, not you." He then added, "Why would I want to hurt a pretty little lady like yourself?"

Rita promptly decided that there was absolutely nothing creepy or even out of the ordinary at all about this, and so they went to lunch as planned. They went to the nicest bar in town, and promptly ordered something to eat. At first, not much was said between them but then, suddenly, Alexei spoke.

"So, how about we have... A little fun after this is over?" He was starting to get drunk.

Rita, having not had any alcohol, was nowhere near drunk enough to take him up on this. She was, quite frankly, disgusted at his offer.

Then, something struck Alexei upside the head. He fell to the ground. Flynn then swept Rita off her feet and ran back to the hotel they were staying at. 

"How did you know we were there?" Rita asked, shocked.

"I was there for booze, I just happened to see him being a creeper before I got too drunk to care."

In her eyes, this response was good enough. As they walked back into the hotel, she kissed his cheek. He then kissed her back and it turned into a sloppy makeout scene. Everyone else was horrified when they saw. Especially Karol and Yuri. 

"You whore!" Yuri shreiked, as he slapped Flynn.

Despite all the commotion, though, it turned out to be a happy ending for both Flynn and Rita.

 

End of chapter 9.


	10. Raven klieks littel boyus! D:

Chatpet 10: Raven klieks littel boyus! D:

 

TEHN, Flynn passsd out drunkd. hE jus ttold a FAKE strory abpout him and RITA.

Rita waz ehnt all kliekl "he BETTER bE passst OUT or i'll KILL HIM UP GOOD!"

Rita then put doun her seriel and tryed to kill him up good.

Catpain Karol was liek "NO, rita... you MUSN'T! D:"

Rita tehn sed "Why? He iz bein DUM!"

Catpain waz like "he PASSST OUT. remember?"

"Oh, yeh." Rita sed, as she wakld awey.

"Itsa good taht she did'nt kill Flynn. Taht wuld be SO SO BAD, Y'ALL" Repede sed.

"Ikno RITE?" King-Master Yuri agreed. Him adn Repede ten hi-5'd int'o space! :D

Onse King-Master Yuri and Repede were goen int'o space, Raven was all like "WAT? iDo'nt KNO WAT jusst HAPEN? D:"

EStelle sed "Bie King-Master Yuri! Bie Repede! I LOEV YOU GAIZ!!!"

Ten Catpain was klike "Tis is eht stupid! I gonna go SOMEwhere ELSE!"

Karol wakld passst Judy who waz cryong asbout King-Master Yuri's GRATE ESCAPE. He got out off the dooor and int'o outside.BUT Raven followd cuz he sa creapy stakler off teh littel boyds! D:

Catpain wenut int'o eth woulds anxd waqs alll ike "IT sure is NOT... danger-like up in HEER!"

Raven tehn sed "it sure is not! :O"

CAtpain then sed A"Raven! WAT are you doing HERE?"

RAVEN, who IS stil hiding, ten sed "Lookin gat you're GEY BUTT!"

Catpain did'nt kno wat to sey. He taut 'How did Raven kno my butt was gey?"

Raven aded: "It WUD BE totly SUPERB iff youd' be my GEY LOEVR."

THE CATPAIN ahd no idea taht Raven WAZ A GEY stakler off teh LITTEL BOYs.

Tehn catpain was int'o him. Thenn they startid kissing. It waz groas. Teyh wennt back home and eat seriel together. FOREVR. Evryon lese startid barfing cuz Raven is groas and klieks littel boys.

 

Edn of chapter 10.


	11. Yuri likes men

After Yuri finished with his babbling, he went back to eating his cereal. He had just finished talking about his dream from last night, where Raven had gotten together with Karol after stalking him in the woods.

"That sure was a crazy dream you had!" Estelle said.

"I know, right?" Yuri agreed as he shoved cereal into his mouth.

Raven was upset at the fact that Yuri's dreams seem to always be making fun of him, but was too much of a man to start an argument over something so trivial.

Suddenly, from the window, came Gauche and Droite, followed by Yeager.

"YEAGER!" Karol yelled.

"Don't worry," Yeager said calmly, "we come in peace."

"What do you want with us!?" Rita hissed.

Yeager smiled a sinister smile. "I want to make a deal."

"We don't negotiate with freaks like you!" Rita yelled, as she lunged forward.

Judith extended her arm in an attempt to hold Rita back. "Let's hear them out first, shall we?"

"You would do well to listen to the fräulein, ja?" Yeager remarked, as Rita snarled angrily.

"Anyway," Yeager began, "I have a proposal for herr Yuri over there."

"I'd never marry you!" Yuri wailed.

"That's not what I meant!" Yeager barked.

"Oh... Then what do you want, you... um... poopie-head?" Yuri asked, poorly trying to sound intimidating.

"... I want to offer you one of these lovely fräuleins in exchange for your cooperation, dummkopf. Basically, you take them each on a couple of dates, pick one to marry, and then live happily ever after out of my hair."

Karol then said "That sounds like an extremely stupid--"

"Deal!" Yuri cut him off.

"Very good!" Yeager exclaimed.

Over the next several days, Yuri went on a couple of dates each with Gauche and Droite. They went out to eat, went out for walks, and talked for hours. After all was said and done, though, Yuri wasn't sure that he wanted either of the two lovely ladies. Gauche pretty much the opposite of what he'd want in a woman. She was too serious for his liking. Droite... Well, honestly, Yuri just hates people with green hair because he's a terrible person, or something. I mean, Droite is like the opposite of her sister, so if Gauche is the opposite of what he'd want, then Droite SHOULD be just right. Either way, he didn't like either woman.

After the time was up, Yeager and the two girls walked over to Yuri.

"Have you made your choice yet, herr dummkopf?" Yeager asked.

"I have." Yuri said, with a sudden realization. "I choose..."

"You choose who? Out with it!" Yeager was impatient.

"I choose... YOU!" Yuri pointed straight ahead.

"... Why are you pointing at me?" Yeager asked, dumbfounded.

"I realized that this was never going to work, because I don't like women!" Yuri exclaimed. "But after all this time spent talking to you and thinking about you, I realized something: I can't live without your sexy British accent!"

"It's German..." Yeager corrected.

"Same thing!" Yuri shrugged.

Yeager contemplated what to do about this. He could just consider the deal off and kill him, or he could try to make this work to his advantage. As he considered his options, his thoughts drifted to what life would be like married to Yuri. The more he thought about it, the more appealing it seemed, presumably because he had recently sustained some sort of serious head injury.

"... I accept your proposal." Yeager finally said. 

Gauche and Droite were so insulted and disgusted by this, that they both ran over to Raven and started rubbing their boobs on him in dismay. 

Then Yuri and Yeager got married (despite the exchange between them toward the beginning of the chapter) and lived happily ever after.

 

End of chapter 11.


	12. Saim as Raven's chatpet 11 butt exssept reviesedd

Chatpet 12: Saim as Raven's chatpet 11 butt exssept reviesedd

 

After Raven finished with his dum babbling, King-Master Yuri went back to eating his seriel ((you spellet ti wrogn, Raven. AGAIG.)). Raven had just finished talking about his dream from last night, where he had gotten together with Karol after stalking him in the woods cuz he iz teh stalkler off teh littel boyuds.

"That sure was a REtardit dream you had, stoopit Raven!" Estelle said.

"I know, right? i iz soooo dum, yakno?" Raven agreed as Yuri shoved seriel into his OUN mouth. Raven dind't haev seriel, becuzx he waz dum adn didtn' desrev it.

Catpain was upset at the fact that Raven's dreams seem to always be exxtreamly creapy, but was too much of a littel boyu to start an argument over something so legitimit.

Suddenly, from the window, came Gauche ((iss taht reely how itz spelt? :O )) and Droite, followed by Yeager.

"YEAGER!" Catpain Karol yelled LOUD.

"Don't worry," Yeager said calmly, "we come heer in peace."

"What do you want with us, dumbutz!?" Rita hissed kliek a cat.

Yeager TEHN smiled a sinister smile. "I want to make a deal.WIHT YOU DOODZ."

"We don't maek deelz (("negotiate" izn't a wurd, stoopit!)) with freaks like you!" Rita yelled, as she lunged forward AGGREGSIVELEY.

Judy extended her arm OUT in an attempt to hold Rita back. "Let's US hear them out first, shall we?"

"You would do well to listen to the fräulein, ja? ((wut iz he eben seying heer???))" Yeager remarked, as Rita snarled angrily.

"Anyway," Yeager began, "I have a proposal for herr ((Estelle's? Judy's? Rita's? Who's am I???)) Yuri over there."

"I'd never marry you!" Yuri yelled truthFULY!

"That's not what I meant, woof BARK!" Yeager barked.

"Oh... Then what do you want, you... um... poopie-head?" Yuri asked, sounden legit intimidating.

"... I want to offer you one of these lovely fräuleins ((Wut is that MEEN? HOW DIDY OU EBEN TYEP TAHT???)) in exchange for your cooperation, dummkopf. Basically, you take them each on a couple of dates, pick one to BE YORU BREID, and then live happily ever after out of my hair."

Catpain then said "That sounds like an extremely stupid--"

"Deal!" Yuri RITEFULY cut him off.

"Very good!" Yeager exclaimed, haevin stopppt seying jibberish tihngs FINALLY.

Over the nexxt several days, Yuri went on a millyin of dates each with Gauche ((sp?)) and Droite. They went out to eat seriel, went out for walks in teh pork, and talkled for hours. After all was said and done, though, Yuri wasn't sure that he wanted tu chooos either of the two lovely ladies. Gauche ((sp?)) pretty much the sexxynis of what he'd want in a woman. She was SO SO seriously hawt for his liking. Droite... Well, honestly, Yuri just loevs people with green hair because he's a terriblelky awsoem person, or something. I mean, Droite is like the opposite of her sister BUTT stil sexxksy, so if Gauche ((sp?))) is the hawtnesssss of what he'd want, then Droite SHOULD be jussst right ALOS. Either way, he toatly like eitherboath woman.

After the time of disision was up, Yeager and the two sexxkiy girls walked over to Yuri.

"Have you made your choice yet, herr dummkopf?" Yeager asked, toatly spekin jibbrish agen.

"I have... I HAEV maed upp mai mained!" Yuri said, with a sudden realization. "I choose..."

"You choose who? Out with it!" Yeager REEDHLY was impatient.

"I choose..." Yuri sed agains.

"WUHT YOU chooes dummkpopffekda;slkdfgnaeorgnasdfkjlsdjf?" Yeager sed speekin jibeberish oens moer.

I chooes.......... BOETH!" Yuri pointed ahead whit heach haned.

"... Why are you pointing at me?" Yeager asked, dumbfounded.

"I WAZZNT, STOOPIT! I realized that this was never going to work, because I don't like haevin OEN women!" Yuri exclaimed. "But after all this time spent talking to tehm and thinking about thme, I realized something: I can't live without BOHT your sexy BAEBz!"

"WUHT... TAHTz not eben RITE!" Yeager cormentid.

Pimp-Master Yuri shrugged whiel wearin sunglassis.

Yeager contemplated what to do about this awsoem dood. He could just consider the deal off and kill him (yeh raight!), or he could try to make this work to his advantage (alos yeh reight!). As he considered his options, his thoughts drifted to what life would be like married to Raven foer som raisin. The more he thought about it, the more appealing it seemed, presumably because he had recently sustained some sort of MAYGORLEY serious head injury.

"... I accept your proposal. Az logn as I get to heav Raven!" Yeager finally said. 

Gauche ((sp?)) and Droite were so happi and exxsited by this, that they both ran over to Pimp-Master Yuri and started rubbing their boobs on him in GLEE. 

Then Raven and Yeager got married haeving 12 kidds, trhee doegs, adn Flynn as thre GHEY POOL BOYU and lived happily ever after.

 

Edn of chapter 11.


End file.
